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Transition: Part 2

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Transition: Part 1

I couldn’t believe it would take persuading our older girls to experience the freedom found in making the transition by living in a house in Monjas. I thought everyone would grab hold of the idea, but instead, we saw a resistance because of fears. We needed to nudge them out of the nest. Lord, please break off the fear that has risen in these girls’ hearts. Help them to feel at peace with these changes in their lives.

We didn’t find a perfect house in our small town, but the one we found would work for the seven girls. I felt comfortable that they would live two blocks from me and be close for any emergencies. Moving day came, and the girls began to feel more relaxed with living in town instead of the country.

198453_1925761872064_1482687191_2200626_1808604_n“Yes, girls, you can go to the tienda, but you need to let the tios (aunt and uncle) know before you leave.” I laughed at the many trips they made to the store without making a purchase, just because they could. Some of the girls took the privileges and ran with them, and others wouldn’t step out the door.

Within two weeks, the complaints began. The tios wanted to control the girls instead of allowing them some free rein. They thought that if the girls made too many bad choices, it would reflect upon them. They falsely believed that without control, their jobs could be lost. The girls resented the iron grip upon them, and signs of rebellion popped up, with disrespect from both sides.

My head spun with what needed to be done to bring balance to this newly formed family. Joanne and I had a long talk with the tios, and we told them that the girls might not always make right decisions. The girls would learn from the consequences that came with those decisions as part of their learning experience.

“When growing up did you make the right decision every time? I sure didn’t, and I learned more from my bad choices than I did from the good ones. You will not be held responsible for such decisions,” Joanne explained.

At our meeting with the girls, we challenged them by asking for one negative and one positive comment about living in Casa Magdalena. It broke my heart to see the tears and hear of the hurts residing inside them. Pride seemed to rule, and nobody can make a person forgive another, but these girls asked to be forgiven for their wrongs.

I thought we would see the tide move in a positive direction, but that did not happen, and we landed on square one again. The tios, with a locked-in mentality of controlling parents, couldn’t let go. Lord, why is this important goal so hard to pull together?

We counseled with the tios and discussed the situation with others for any source of wisdom. We came to the conclusion that we should find another couple who could be counselors for the girls. The Lord had already touched the hearts of a couple, who came to us saying they wanted to work in this position. I wanted them to repeat their words to make sure I heard correctly. The kids already loved this couple as directors and teachers at the school. We said yes, and the transition program took off with only a few adjustments. Casa Magdalena, named after Mary Magdalene in the Bible, became an important component in the plans for the older girls who reside at Shadow of His Wings Orphanage.

Transition: Part 1

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As the girls got older, it became apparent that our present program for them needed to change. At eighteen, a girl could walk out the gate if she desired to leave the orphanage. Only a handful of them followed through with this legal right, and the population of older girls continued to grow. These girls needed to transition from children to functioning adults in a country with limited opportunities in every area of life. We faced the responsibility to set the scene for that to happen. Oh, Lord, only you can make it possible.

I couldn’t imagine any of them living on their own because they didn’t even know about budgets, how to pay the electric bill or what it entailed in renting a house. Some of these girls confessed to the fear they felt when allowed to go into Monjas for shopping. No way would they ride a chicken bus after hearing the stories of the violence that took place on the buses. Something had to be done to prepare these girls for the future outside of Shadow’s gates. Still being part of Shadow family, they needed to know about independent living. Time to put our heads together and figure out the best way for this to happen in a developing country. Our experiences in the States did little to help us with a transition program.

At the planning, we discussed what we wanted to see happen in their lives. Many of these girls had limited shopping experiences in the supermarket, and many didn’t know how to count out money. I remembered taking them to HiperPaiz and having them hang onto my arm as if they could be kidnapped at any moment. They lived protective lives in Shadow and needed to experience the outside world but in a safe way. That meant we needed to find a house in Monjas for these girls to live out what they needed to learn.

At nineteen or twenty, the girls didn’t need a parent hovering over them but someone to guide and counsel when needed. We also wanted a male figure in the house for the protection of the girls. The wheels turned, and we developed an outline for the future.

Lord fill us with Your wisdom. We need Your plan. Having raised four children, I could apply what I knew, but we lived in a culture that had obstacles for finding housing and jobs. After much discussion, we piloted the transition program for girls who turned seventeen. The thought excited me that we could continue in the lives of these girls teaching them skills and seeing major differences in lives.

SAM_2566Joanne and I called a meeting to share the idea with the girls seventeen or older. “Girls it is time for you to have a life outside the walls of Shadow and learn how the adult population functions. We are going to move you into a house in Monjas, so you can learn how to shop, how to pay the electric bill, how to budget money, purchase food items, how to cook and many other activities that you will be required to do when you leave the orphanage. You will have an aunt and uncle living with you to help with the many decisions and choices you will be making. They will be there to guide you.”

Surprisingly, I heard groans. “We don’t want to leave our family or our house parents,” said Lil.

“You will still be connected with your family just as the young people in the States do when they leave home. You will come here for visits, go to church services together, come for important occasions, and can have contact by phone when you can’t come for a visit,” assured Joanne.

I saw heads shaking and knew they didn’t want to leave the orphanage because of fear. I thought of the mother eagle who booted the youngsters out of the nest when it came time to fly. If they resisted, out they went with no other option but to flap those wings. Our young ladies would be encouraged to flap their wings as they followed the transition plan.