http://www.livingundertheshadowofhiswings.com/2016/02/switch-them-part-1/

I sat with frustrated house parents and an agitated girl, praying for insight for a volatile situation. This situation needed to be defused, and I did not know how to do that. Lord, I need you to guide me in how to deal with all of this. I had listened to the parents describing the disrespect and hurtful words hurled at them by the young teenager Karla*. Karla had confided in me that unfair accusations were being made against her. This cycle had gone on for over a year, and I needed to act now.

Vilma* waited for my response after she informed me that she wanted to quit being a house parent. Sighing, I said, “I think we need a time-out. It is not good to make a decision like this in the midst of anger and hurt.” I didn’t have the answers, and I needed time to sort through everything before making a decision.

Shaking her head, Vilma cried, “I can’t do this!”

“You are a good house mother and have helped many children in your home. They need you. There’s an answer for this, but we need more time to get it resolved.” I explained my idea to move Karla into a neutral home for a couple of days until we devised a plan.

I checked with another couple who already knew the problems with Karla. They agreed to open their home to her, and Karla moved in temporarily.

From the beginnings of the orphanage, we set a precedent that the children would not be moved around from one family to another. These children need stability. In real family relationships, the family learns to work through the problems. If a child acts out, she faces the consequences with the parents, and they work with her. The child experiences the discipline and love of the growing-up process. Moving a child from one family to another would provoke instability and insecurity. That described their before-Shadow lives, but at Shadow we provide consistency.

At Shadow we keep siblings together and we don’t want them to be in separate orphanages. Often the court will transfer a child to us because a sibling resides at Shadow. Even the court system stands firm on the idea of siblings remaining together. Placing them in the same home at Shadow establishes a stronger family and a sense of belonging. In the case of these two teens, each had a sister in the home with them.

When I woke from the dream and heard the words “switch them,” I knew what we had to do. I called the couples into the office and explained what I heard the Lord saying.

“It has been our policy not to move children from one home to another, but perhaps it is time for an exception. I think the Lord has opened my eyes to this idea for this particular circumstance. If it doesn’t turn out favorably, we will come together and work on a different solution. What do you think? Do you agree?”

The parents’ smiles, nods, and the look of relief filling their faces confirmed that this plan could be the answer.

The next day the two girls changed homes. Susy* and Karla knew this would be their last opportunity to stay at Shadow. I told them they would begin in their new families with a clean slate. I established the rule that neither set of house parents could talk negatively about their former daughter or bring up things from the past.

After the girls moved in with their new families, I nervously waited for feedback. The reports started to come in a week later. “We found out that Karla likes to sing,” the house father said with a grin. The house mother added, “They gather around Papa and sing songs almost every evening. It is a blessing to hear them.”

Encouraging words of positive progress continued to come in. Susy wouldn’t talk to her previous house parents but opened up to the new ones. I marveled at how the Lord worked it out. The tension and stress of the house parents lessened, and peace reigned. I could only guess what would have happened if we hadn’t acted on the words: “Switch them.”

*Names have been changed