Manifestations in the demonic realm seemed continuous and kept us all on alert. I learned to recognize a certain look of darkness in the eyes of a girl. If I called out her name to look at me and had her say, “I am a child of Jesus,” the trance would come to an abrupt halt. Dealing with fear presented another issue. Lorena* went through several months struggling with trances and fear. All of us workers in the Shadow of His Wings Orphanage showed the girls strategies for overcoming fear.
“Mama Carroll, I need to talk to you,” Lorena quietly spoke with a catch in her throat.
I told her to come into my room and sit down. “What is the problems, mi amor?”
“I-I-I’m scared to go into the bathroom.” She had my full attention with this announcement and continued to explain. “When I go in, I’m afraid a snake is going to come up out of the toilet, or when I am in the shower, I feel like the water will turn to blood. I’m afraid to go to the bathroom at night, and last night I almost wet the bed.” The anxious look on this sixteen year old’s face told me of the seriousness of the situation. Lord, please give me some insight for this situation. How can I help Lorena?
I wondered what had provoked these thoughts. We didn’t allow the girls to watch movies other than the good Disney types. Perhaps she was reliving something from the past. Fear haunts the lives of these children, just as it does in the life of every living person. The degree of fear varies, but the big question loomed in front of me: how to deal with it. These kids had been exposed to witchcraft and satanic rituals. Many had viewed horror movies and brutalities on the streets or in their homes, so one can understand the strength of the fear factor. I could only share with the kids the strategies I used to deal with my fears and explain how to protect their minds.
“Have you experienced a time when any of these things have happened to you? Has a snake appeared in the bathroom or has there been blood?” I asked.
I heard a meek “no.”
“The enemy is attacking your mind. God hasn’t given you a spirit of fear but of love, power, and a sound mind” (2 Timothy 1:7). We read some Scriptures about fear and God’s promise of protection. We took authority in the name of Jesus, but I knew from experience that victory would be a process of learning to trust the Lord and what He promised. What a horrible feeling to have your heart racing and your imagination in over-drive, with the hopeless feeling of being alone.
“Lorena, when you begin to feel fear, immediately say Jesus aloud. Say it as many times as necessary until you feel peace coming into your heart. You know many Scriptures that say He is your protector and that He will hide you from the enemy. The Lord wants you to know you can trust Him and that He is always with you.”
Afterwards I purchased a flashlight, and I gave it to Lorena, suggesting that she keep it hidden under her mattress. Things like that had a way of getting stolen. She gratefully took it for any future nighttime ventures into the dark bathroom. She had permission to awaken me in the night if she needed me to pray for her. I told her it would be good to find a praise song to sing while she used the bathroom. Would she trust the Lord for His protection?
The next morning Lorena went to take a shower. I listened for a song but didn’t hear anything. “Lorena?”
“What?” she shouted back.
“Yo tengo gozo gozo gozo en mi corazón.” (I have joy joy joy in my heart.)
I chuckled when I received back a loud, “Dónde?” (Where?)
I replied, “En mi corazón.” (In my heart.) We sang back and forth for a few more stanzas before I stopped. I felt victory when I could hear her continuing with the song.
Months later, Lorena felt that she had overcome the fear of going into the bathroom, along with some other fears that popped up at times, by using the strategies for overcoming fear. The Lord faithfully showed her that He could be trusted and that He would never leave her unprotected. All of us rejoiced with each victory that I saw in the girls.
*Name has been changed.