Category Archives: Shadow of His Wings

The orphanage in Monjas, Jalapa, Guatemala

Strategies for Overcoming Fear

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Manifestations in the demonic realm seemed continuous and kept us all on alert. I learned to recognize a certain look of darkness in the eyes of a girl. If I called out her name to look at me and had her say, “I am a child of Jesus,” the trance would come to an abrupt halt. Dealing with fear presented another issue. Lorena* went through several months struggling with trances and fear. All of us workers in the Shadow of His Wings Orphanage showed the girls strategies for overcoming fear.

“Mama Carroll, I need to talk to you,” Lorena quietly spoke with a catch in her throat.

I told her to come into my room and sit down. “What is the problems, mi amor?”

“I-I-I’m scared to go into the bathroom.” She had my full attention with this announcement and continued to explain. “When I go in, I’m afraid a snake is going to come up out of the toilet, or when I am in the shower, I feel like the water will turn to blood. I’m afraid to go to the bathroom at night, and last night I almost wet the bed.” The anxious look on this sixteen year old’s face told me of the seriousness of the situation. Lord, please give me some insight for this situation. How can I help Lorena?

I wondered what had provoked these thoughts. We didn’t allow the girls to watch movies other than the good Disney types. Perhaps she was reliving something from the past. Fear haunts the lives of these children, just as it does in the life of every living person. The degree of fear varies, but the big question loomed in front of me: how to deal with it. These kids had been exposed to witchcraft and satanic rituals. Many had viewed horror movies and brutalities on the streets or in their homes, so one can understand the strength of the fear factor. I could only share with the kids the strategies I used to deal with my fears and explain how to protect their minds.

“Have you experienced a time when any of these things have happened to you? Has a snake appeared in the bathroom or has there been blood?” I asked.

I heard a meek “no.”

“The enemy is attacking your mind. God hasn’t given you a spirit of fear but of love, power, and a sound mind” (2 Timothy 1:7). We read some Scriptures about fear and God’s promise of protection. We took authority in the name of Jesus, but I knew from experience that victory would be a process of learning to trust the Lord and what He promised. What a horrible feeling to have your heart racing and your imagination in over-drive, with the hopeless feeling of being alone.

“Lorena, when you begin to feel fear, immediately say Jesus aloud. Say it as many times as necessary until you feel peace coming into your heart. You know many Scriptures that say He is your protector and that He will hide you from the enemy. The Lord wants you to know you can trust Him and that He is always with you.”

Afterwards I purchased a flashlight, and I gave it to Lorena, suggesting that she keep it hidden under her mattress. Things like that had a way of getting stolen. She gratefully took it for any future nighttime ventures into the dark bathroom. She had permission to awaken me in the night if she needed me to pray for her. I told her it would be good to find a praise song to sing while she used the bathroom. Would she trust the Lord for His protection?

The next morning Lorena went to take a shower. I listened for a song but didn’t hear anything. “Lorena?”

“What?” she shouted back.

“Yo tengo gozo gozo gozo en mi corazón.” (I have joy joy joy in my heart.)

I chuckled when I received back a loud, “Dónde?” (Where?)

I replied, “En mi corazón.” (In my heart.) We sang back and forth for a few more stanzas before I stopped. I felt victory when I could hear her continuing with the song.

Months later, Lorena felt that she had overcome the fear of going into the bathroom, along with some other fears that popped up at times, by using the strategies for overcoming fear. The Lord faithfully showed her that He could be trusted and that He would never leave her unprotected. All of us rejoiced with each victory that I saw in the girls.

*Name has been changed.

Deliverance From Demons: Part 3

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IMG_1293The battle for Ester’s* deliverance from demons continued as we sought the Lord for answers in breaking the demonic hold on her. I read in Ezekiel 4 where God gave Ezekiel a plan to seize Jerusalem. I felt that we were to take siege of the orphanage—the girls and everyone who worked with us, just as Ezekiel had been commanded for Jerusalem. I looked up “siege” in the dictionary and boiled it down to fit our situation. “Siege” meant to make a continuous effort to gain all of the children and all associated with the orphanage for the Lord. In Isaiah 61, God said He would set the captives free. Jesus Christ gave believers the authority over the enemy, and we declared that over Ester.

After destroying all of the jewelry, we led Ester through the Bible and shared about the hope and love that is hers from the Lord. She admitted that she desired that kind of love. I had her read Scriptures of truth, inserting her name in the sentences to personalize the words. All the girls needed to know that it is our identity in Christ that gives us the authority to ask God for anything. We are no longer captives or slaves but God’s children (Galatians 4:7-9). As Ester grew into a deeper understanding of what being a child of God meant, she repented and denounced being the bride of Satan. It took time, love, words of encouragement from “Word Planters,” prayer, and reading God’s Word, but gradually this young girl accepted the Lord’s love and became a pillar of strength. Ester shined with the knowledge that she was somebody special in the eyes of her Creator.

Ester needed to be prepared for when she left the orphanage, knowing how to stand in the authority the Lord gave her. I talked to her about temptations and the pull back into her old life. We discussed how she could come against them with the Bible truths that had been planted in her heart. What blessed me more than anything was when I saw her ministering to other girls, with her Bible open and words of truth pouring out of her mouth. Many of the girls who had received deliverance did the same. They were set free from their old lives and ministered to the new girls out of their new lives in Christ.

After each situation of spiritual confrontation, I found myself becoming bolder in the authority Christ gave us. I used to feel the hair stand up on the back of my neck, but I found myself ready for battle, knowing that we already had victory. We only needed to fight the battle with the weapons our gracias Lord gave us. We continued to teach the girls that they too have the authority and can put an end to the manifestations. I put this teaching as a top priority, because they would not always be with us, and using their God-given authority would bring victory. The world is filled with darkness, and for these girls knowing how to walk in authority helps free others from bondage. These children make a difference in this wicked world. Of course, it’s a process of learning for all of us, and it excites me to know they can walk in peace, love, and victory. None of the children were too young to learn how to break the bondage of the enemy and walk in the freedom of the Lord.

*Name has been changed.

The Key Revealed: Part 2

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IMG_0017We watched this twelve-year-old go in and out of trances, with screaming and times of vomiting. We prayed and took authority in the name of Jesus, but we didn’t see the deliverance that Ester* needed. Lord, help us to uncover the reason this is happening to her. Why does the enemy have such a hold on her? We need the key revealed so that we can close the door to the enemy. 

“Ester, the enemy is playing with your mind, but somehow there is a door open to the spiritual realm for that to happen. Can you tell us anything that would help us understand what is going on with you?” I asked. She looked at me with blank eyes, trying to comprehend what I said.

Walter* watched her closely and then looked down at some bracelets on her wrists. “What are the meaning of these bracelets?” he inquired.

“They are satanic,” she said. Then she pointed out her ring and necklace and explained that they also symbolized satanic beliefs. “People in the gang gave them to me.” She continued to tell her story of feeling unloved by a family who drank liquor and used drugs. They encouraged her to participate in those things, and the father even brought home glue for her to sniff. “I wanted peace and love in my life, and that drew me into the gang. They accepted me and treated me like they cared.”

I shuddered as she described the gang’s symbol: a tattoo of three triangular dots. To have the brand of this satanic group signified a lifetime commitment, and they would kill anyone trying to leave the gang. Thank goodness, the police picked up Ester from the streets the day she was scheduled to receive her tattoo. Her next words made my blood run cold. “The gang chose me to be the bride of Satan,” she said with fear flickering in her eyes. Ester quickly scanned the room, as though watching for something or someone. “I thought that Satan loved me, so I gave myself to him.”

I knew enough about satanic rituals to know that such a position put her life in danger. The spiritual dynamics of being the bride of Satan explained the tremendous fear we saw exhibited by Ester. With the key to the manifestations now exposed, we needed to have the Lord’s wisdom and guidance as to how to proceed for her deliverance. Since Ester had consented to allow this in her life, she had to denounce the demons of darkness and break the enemy’s hold on her life. I trusted the Lord to lead us in the way this would happen. I also had another concern. Lord, keep us safe here at the orphanage. These gang members could easily find out where we live and try to get Ester back with them. Give us the wisdom to break all of this off of her.

After hearing Ester’s story, I felt shaken to the point that I lacked words, so I gave her a hug. Then I sought out my secret place of prayer with the Lord to see what the He had planned for this special child. Were we in for a huge battle? I didn’t know what to expect, but I believed in the Lord for Ester’s deliverance.

*Name has been changed.

Word Planters

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A young girl arrived at Shadow of His Wings Orphanage in horrible physical and mental condition. She had suffered sexual abuse to the point that she did not have normal bodily functions. I faced another case that made me scream out for justice on her behalf. More than that, I desired that the Lord’s hand would heal her mind and body. She needed the “word planters.”

I met with her and shared words of love and hope, but I didn’t expect the response I received.

“Karla*, welcome to Shadow of His Wings. You’ve met the couple who are your house parents and the kids in your casita. Are you ready for school tomorrow?”

“No, I’m not going.” she growled out as dark eyes glared at me. “I don’t have a uniform.” I saw another hard case before me. Fill her with your love, Lord.

“We’re working on that now. We have a lady who will sew a skirt and top for you. There aren’t many extras in the storage room, and they are usually the big sizes. Meanwhile, you have permission to wear any skirt and top until your uniform is finished.” I hoped that the casual talk would help her relax, but she held her hands in fists, and her taut face didn’t show any signs of a smile.

“Karla, I’m here to help you in any way that I can.” Her smirk and sigh told me of her doubt. “You are a special young lady…” and before I could finish, she jumped in with, “No, I’m not.”

Several of the children I’d talked to may have thought this, but she was the first one to say it to me. I need your wisdom, Lord. Please help me to know what to say. I asked her some questions (did she have a good friend; did she attend church), but all of her short answers were matter-of-fact. She appeared emotionally cold. I couldn’t even see a flicker of light in her eyes, and her face was void of expression. Ana* had shut down her brain, but Karla had shut down her emotions.

With many prayers said, the Shadow team spoke words of love and hope into this girl. The response turned into a great victory when we saw her believing the words she heard. This gal did not know how to read and had not attended school before coming to Shadow, but with the annual Fine Arts competition looming ahead, Karla decided she wanted to participate. She memorized a long poem, dressed in typical clothing, and performed as if she had done it many times in the past. It gave me chills to hear her speak with a strong voice filled with emotion. Yahoo, she spoke with emotion! Yes! Lord, You did it. Those positive and encouraging words planted in her were bearing fruit.

Karla still had a long way to go in the area of physical and mental healing, but it thrilled me to see how the adults rallied around her with healing words. This turned into teamwork, with the Guatemalans and North Americans pouring themselves into her and other hurting children. I mentally thought of us as God’s “word planters.” I prayed that we would all be word planters with whomever we came into contact and that the Lord would give us His words of love to share. I knew there wouldn’t always be immediate responses like in the case of Karla, but we needed to do what we could and let God do the rest.

*Name has been changed.