Category Archives: Children in Shadow of His Wings

Satanic Victim

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The director of the school brought Mayra* into my office and shared the dramatic events from earlier that day. I sat up in my chair, fully focused on the director. Having dealt with similar situations in the past, I knew that correct counseling was crucial. I didn’t have any answers, but I knew Who did, and my prayers ascended in quick succession, asking the Lord to give us understanding and wisdom in dealing with this satanic victim.

“Mayra started talking in a deep raspy voice using filthy words. We found a note she wrote covered with satanic symbols and words denouncing God. While she demonically manifested, the other children charged out of the classroom. Raul and I calmed them down and asked if they would help pray for her so we grouped around Mayra and prayed. Afterward, she sat down like a limp dishrag. Please talk to her.” The director then left the office.

I focused on our newest girl, wondering where to start in helping her. I knew some of her history based on the report from the social worker, and I grieved because of the pain this child had endured. This terrified girl told her house parents that she witnessed the death of three small girls during satanic rituals, and she had suffered sexual abuse from her pastor. Because of her behavior and demeanor, her presence in the orphanage caused fear in the children and some adults. They felt like they lived with the enemy and had to be constantly on alert. Lord, I need you like never before to reach this child. Please guide my thoughts and words.

I stared into Mayra’s dull dark eyes and told her that we at Shadow of His Wings believed in the Lord Jesus Christ and that He gave us authority over the demonic. She tossed her head and replied, “No, there isn’t a God.”

“Why do you say there isn’t a God?”

“Because there is no evidence to see,” she replied.

I flipped on the switch for the ceiling fan, and we both watched it gain momentum as it spun. “What is making that fan turn?” I inquired.

After her response of “I don’t know,” I proceeded to tell her how electricity worked. “We can’t see it, but we can see its effects. We can’t see God, but we can see His impact upon this world in many ways. Look outside at the trees, flowers, birds, and mountains. We can see God’s handiwork all around us. Do you know who Jesus is?” She shook her head no. I then asked if I could pray for her, but again she said no.

“That’s okay Mayra. We are here to help you, to love you, and to protect you. We won’t let anything hurt you. You are a special creation of God’s, and have a divine destiny designed by Him for your life now and for eternity. The devil is trying to keep you from that plan. We’ll talk about all of this at a later time. Do you want to know about truth and what is real?”

Stuck in her negativism, her reply didn’t surprise me. I continued, “We all want to know the truth. We don’t like lies, and I believe that you seek truth also. The devil doesn’t want you to know these things, because then he would have to leave.”

I saw her shudder as she told me about a man, dressed in red, who follows her around. “Can I pray for you, Mayra, so you don’t have to see him anymore?” Her answer remained the same—no.

Before she left, I hugged her tightly, and she began to cry. “Mayra, we are going to do everything possible to help you.” I felt her respond to my hug, and hope filled me. I knew the love of the Lord would be the key to winning her heart.

The next day, I visited the school to explain about the battle we faced for Mayra. I entered the classroom and saw her sitting calmly next to the director. A teacher began reading Scripture, and immediately Mayra’s hands covered her ears. After the Scripture, I gave a sermonette about the victory we have over the enemy’s tactics through the Lord Jesus Christ. As believers, we are responsible for setting the captives free. Victims need to know God’s pure love, which comes through us. I covered a lot of areas and came back to the fact that we have God-given authority over the enemy.

Later in the afternoon, while the children were in class, I went to her casita. Her house parents and I prayed over her bedroom, her bed, her clothes, and her personal items. I knew she would be won by love, and we declared it would penetrate her body, soul, and spirit. Mayra did respond to our prayers, and the reports held a promise of a calmer and happier girl, but her story continued.

Due to the sexual abuse, Mayra started bleeding from her rectum, and the doctor told us she needed hernia surgery. We went to a small private hospital in Jalapa for the operation. A smiling, quiet girl came out of the anesthesia with little pain. Pleased with the success, the doctor informed us that she could go home the next morning. Not wanting her to be alone, I stayed the night on the other bed in her room. I stared at the ceiling and thanked God for the significant changes we saw in this beautiful child.

We made plans for her to stay at my house for a week while her body healed. During this time I had the opportunity to get better acquainted with Mayra. During our chats, she confessed that she wanted to remain at Shadow of His Wings. In time, and with the input of many people at the orphanage, she accepted Jesus as her Lord and Savior, denouncing all of her past involvement in the occult. Healing and transformation began occurring in this satanic victim. She found the path the Lord had for her walking in peace and love.

*Name has been changed.

My Security Team

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IMG_2782Unfamiliar with many of the traditions and customs of Monjas, I found myself in a situation that made me feel like I followed an unlit path. A lady I had befriended asked me to attend the fifteenth birthday party for her daughter. I knew this celebration took precedent over many others, and young girls looked forward to their “Cinderella” day. Because of its importance to the family, I wanted to be there and gladly accepted the invitation.

Uncertain about being alone in the Spanish community, I called for reinforcements. “Girls, I’d like to have you come to the celebration with me, and please help me with anything I don’t understand. I’m counting on you.”

“No problem, Mama Carroll. We will be there for you,” chorused the three older girls.

The party started out at the church and looked like a wedding. Cari* wore a gorgeous dress that could have passed for a wedding gown, except for the beautiful blue color. She had ten attendants wearing matching formals. It amazed me how elaborate the decorations and flower arrangements looked. We had fifteenth birthday parties for the girls in the orphanage, but this one surpassed what we did.

I thought I would be an honored guest at the party but soon found out that I represented one of four “patrinas” (godmothers). What had I gotten myself into? I put on my everything-is-calm face and determined I could go through this with peace and grace. I had my “team” with me to help with the language and advise me of what I needed to do. However, I found myself in a special section with other godmothers, and my girls sat across the room watching me closely. My heart rate accelerated as I focused on the three ladies, ready to copy whatever they did. I made it through the program, the congratulations, and the hundreds of photographs. All went well until the celebration moved to the town salon for the dinner and last part of the celebration.

Again, I found myself sitting at the family’s table with my girls on the other side of the room. I’m sure they saw my frantic looks. They tried to move closer to where I sat, but someone ushered them back to the same table. After the meal, the emcee came over to the table and asked me to share some of my thoughts, and he would not take “no” for an answer. With his insistence, all thoughts fled my mind—Spanish and English. Lord, I need you to guide me through this. It’s important to these people, and I don’t know what to say. The girls watched for a signal from me to come and help, but I mustered up a smile and nodded to them that I’d make it through this. To this day, I do not know what I said to the hundreds of people in the salon that night.

After the meal, people mingled in the room chatting with various friends and family. The girls came over to my table, and we agreed we would slip out the door. Just as we reached the outside, two men approached me. One of them spoke English and said that his friend wanted me to speak to him in English. Willing to oblige this request, we talked Spanglish for a few minutes.

Just as they departed, I noticed all three girls had surrounded me. Miriam had a large Pepsi bottle in her hand, holding it in a threatening manner. Sandy had a smaller bottle of water ready to use as a weapon. Irma’s hands were fists ready to strike at any moment. When they saw me observing them, Miriam said, “Don’t worry, Mama Carroll. We are protecting you.” The seriousness of their actions made me realize how they had grown up in a country where they needed to be on alert at all times. We protected them at Shadow of His Wings, and they were protecting me outside the walls of the orphanage. I realized I had my own personal security team during this birthday celebration.

*Name has been changed.

Biologically Related Strangers

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Within two weeks of the court audience, the house parents came to me saying that the two recently reunited sisters would not talk to each other. They wouldn’t respond except to walk away with their noses in the air. Carmin* didn’t provoke negative action, but out of loyalty, most of the girls sided with Vanesa.* I knew intervention would be needed in this delicate situation but was not sure what. I told the house parents that I’d visit with each girl to find out what could be done to help them. I discouraged the idea of discipline, because forcing a relationship would not bring the desired results. Love needed time to bloom.

“Hey, Carmin, how are you doing? It’s been what, two weeks since you joined us? Is there anything I can help you with?” I asked, hoping to open the door to her feelings.

“It’s okay,” she replied, but her downcast eyes didn’t convince me of this. She scooped out some more dirt from the flowerbed she was working in.

“Are you adding some more plants?” I asked, looking at the order of the new plants. I was impressed. She knew what she was doing.

“Yes, there aren’t enough plants in this part.” She huffed as she took out another shovelful of dirt.

“Your house parents are troubled about your relationship with your sister. I need to have you tell me what you think is happening.”

“Mama Carroll, she won’t talk to me. I try to be nice to her and help her, but she pushes me away and won’t talk.”

“Carman, you have entered Vanesa’s territory, and to her, you are a stranger. It will take time for her to accept you as her older sister. She told me there isn’t any memory of you in the past, so it is as if she just met you for the first time. I can see how patient you have been, and I thank you for that and for not getting into verbal confrontations with her.”

Later, I talked to Vanesa. “Do you feel like an intruder moved into your home?”  I asked. Looking up with a half-smile, she shook her head yes. “I’m sure it feels that way, but think of how you would feel if you finally found the sister you loved and had taken care of and, for no reason, she wouldn’t accept you.”

Vanesa’s head went back down to avoid looking at me, while her fingers followed the creases in her skirt. Trying to reach down inside of her, I quietly asked, “Vanesa, are you afraid that she will treat you badly?”

The silence seemed to stretch for minutes before she said, “I don’t know why I don’t want to talk to her.”

IMG_5954  “Vanesa, you are already accepted as part of the Shadow family, and that’s not going to change. Carmin gave up the family she knew to come live with you. Mi Amor, how about you respond to Carmin as you would anyone else in the orphanage, as a friend, being nice and smiling. Let’s see where the relationship goes from there. You know the Lord will help you with this. Let’s ask Him now.” We prayed, and I let her leave the office.

The Shadow team took opportunities to pray and encourage these two. A couple months later, I saw these two biologically related strangers standing together laughing. It was a photo moment, and I didn’t have a camera! Thank you, Lord, for your goodness and love. I saw peace and happiness on their relaxed faces as they shared a special moment together. They finally found each other, and a relationship began to bud. All of us at the Project rejoiced to see the beginning of God’s plan for Carmin and Vanesa coming together.

*Names have been changed.

God’s Plan for Carmin*

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Most of the children who come to Shadow of His Wings Orphanage don’t expect to be placed here. They wait in the children’s court for the custody decision of the judge. The judge has two options: Place the child with a family member or adult friend, or send the child to an orphanage. Carmin’s case had a different slant to it. She lived with her grandfather in a safe environment, taking care of him while he provided a meager life for her. She didn’t have a reason or desire to change that. However, her world shook when she sat in her sister’s audience and heard her grandfather’s idea. He wanted his newly found granddaughter to stay in Shadow and for Carmin to go live with her. I believed this to be God’s plan for Carmin.

The loss of color in Carmin’s face and the moist dark eyes were the only visible clues to her reaction. She outwardly accepted everything that her grandfather and the judge decided for her, but I knew her insides had to be in turmoil. Saying good-bye to the grandfather turned out awkward for both girls. Vanesa* didn’t know him, and Carmin didn’t want to say good-bye. Concerned about her clothes and personal items, I assured her that we would have everything she needed.

The three hour trip to Monjas didn’t open any doors for reconciliation. These two hadn’t been together for ten years, and Vanesa didn’t seem to care if that changed. Vanesa, separated from her family at three years of age, didn’t remember Carmin. She scooted up tightly to the window and kept her eyes glued outside, acting like she might miss seeing something as we passed by. Carmin’s few words, while trying to invite conversation, met with silence. Gerber took the position of a peacemaker, but that fell flat too, since only I responded. Oh, Lord, we have our work cut out for us. Restore this relationship, and fill these girls with your love for one another. Guide us in helping with this huge transition.

Children came running and shouting with excitement when they saw us driving up to Vanesa’s home. Curiosity as to what caused such a ruckus brought out the house parents. Now in her familiar territory, Vanesa left Carmin and ran off with her friends. I introduced Carmin to the house parents, who responded with words of welcome, and then I took her to the storeroom for the normal clothing and necessities allotment.

“Vanesa just needs some time to adjust to the idea that you are her sister. She has fought the ‘battle of life’ alone for a long time, and it will be hard for her to trust you immediately.” I felt like I did all the talking, but I continued to give her the “new at Shadow” spiel. Carmin listened intently and smiled, but few words came out of her mouth. This girl needs time to adjust to us too.

My mind tried to land on some ideas to help these two biologically related strangers develop a “friend” relationship.  I believed if they could start there, the rest would take place naturally. Both girls took responsibility well and had leadership giftings. We all saw a maturity that lacked in many of the kids the same age. The teachers and house parents confirmed this to us. I assured myself that it wouldn’t take long for both girls to find each other as sisters and readjust their lives. If only it were that easy.

*Names have been changed.