Author Archives: Carroll

Unknown Identity Mystery: Part 1

1 Reply

The first baby we received in the orphanage brought out the “mother hen” in everybody at Shadow of His Wings Orphanage. This little doll, with curly black hair and a big smile, captured everyone’s heart. The bomberos (the search and rescue people) named the baby Marita* when she was dropped off at their station. She stirred up great interest because nobody knew who she was or where she came from. Christmas1

According to the information given to us, a woman found the baby in a box, took the box to the bomberos’ station, and prepared to leave without talking to anybody. Someone caught her, and she quickly said the baby didn’t belong to her, and she knew nothing about her. The bomberos took Marita to the children’s court, and she came to us from there.

Her care fell to me because I acted as the housemother, and in no time a strong bond formed. The girls loved taking care of her but in the form of playing dolls. They changed her clothes often and fixed her hair in various ways. They willingly changed her messy diapers. Marita rewarded all of the attention with her smiles and giggles. A casual observer could see that she had everyone wrapped around her little finger.

The human rights people initiated an investigation to find anyone who could identify Marita. We contributed to the search by putting her picture in the Prensa Libra newspaper and on TV for any possible leads. A woman claiming to be the mother went to the court immediately after seeing Marita’s picture. The next day she came to our door with a document that declared her right to visit the baby. The mother in me rose up in protest. What if she was not the real mother? How did Marita get lost? What stable mother would lose her baby? It seemed strange that the real mother would not know where her child had gone. We followed the court order, but someone stayed with the mother during the entire visit. With limited Spanish, I couldn’t ask the questions that would help me understand what happened, but I prayed we would have those answers soon.

After a month, another woman came to visit Marita. This woman told the court that she was the mother’s aunt. Our social worker closely followed any information that came from the human rights group, and they said she had documentation to prove her claims of being the biological great-aunt to the baby. Meanwhile, Marita and I drew closer together in a mother-daughter relationship. Just the thought of her leaving the orphanage tore my heart. I needed to prepare myself for this possibility. I did desire for her biological mother to have her child back if she truly loved her and would keep her safe. From our perspective, the mother’s story didn’t seem legitimate. Lord, please prepare me for what is coming. Help the officials to find the truth of what happened and to place Marita with people who will love and care for her.

I wanted to keep Marita with us for her protection, but more importantly, I knew she should be with her biological family. After a good talking to myself, I realized this would be one of many lessons in trusting the Lord to protect the children who came through Shadow of His Wings Orphanage. I would have to let some of them go. I knew I needed the help of the Lord to accomplish this. Could I reconcile the idea that Shadow of His Wings Orphanage, a place of refuge for children, would be temporary in the lives of most of those received?

*Name has been changed.

Rescued and Safe

3 Replies

Rescued and safe with us put Ana’s* situation on a high level of concern as I pondered her special needs. My problem-solving ability went into overtime with this girl. I questioned how to obtain justice in her life when nothing existed for tracking those responsible for her mental and physical state. It overwhelmed me, but the Lord graciously reminded me that I had to trust Him with the plan for her life. My worrying didn’t bring anything positive into her situation or my life. Oh, Lord, will I ever learn that You are the one with the answers for Ana. 

Joanne, the other Guatemalans who worked for us, and I talked about possible help for Ana. I expressed my deep desire to keep her with us for as long as possible. Much to Ana’s delight, we sent her to school with the other girls. Several self-appointed classmates stepped forward to help when the need arose. The director and teachers at Liberty Christian School (our private school for the orphanage) set up a program for her. Meanwhile, we looked for other ministries that could provide optional services for Ana. We wanted her to have all the help possible.

During the first several months, Ana spoke only a few words at a time and on rare occasions. She described to the caretakers about “blood all over,” “dirty,” and she would make a motion of her hand sweeping from her elbow to the hand. She talked about a knife and slid her hand across her throat. She also talked about a baby and a boy. Ana mentioned a papa in the context that he had blood all over his arms and hands. Ana repeated the words of gory happenings, so we knew that something real and horrible took place with her watching or being involved. With her little-girl speech and mentality, it was difficult to come to any clear conclusions, but one could guess of her involvement in satanic rituals. As the neurologist said, he had seen many victims of such rituals that had shut down their brains to protect themselves.

I needed to let go of the pain I felt for her and be content to open the door for her safety, love, and healing. All of this would take place in the Lord’s time and not mine. Did I trust the Lord to do that? The question haunted me, but I got to the place where I could say, “Yes, Lord, she is in your hands. Lead us and guide us in helping her.”

A miracle was needed to heal the damage in this girl. We declared that what the enemy meant for evil to destroy Ana, God would use for good. I continued to declare justice for her but knew that I couldn’t make it happen. We didn’t have any concrete evidence to involve the police or the human rights people. Ana stood as one of many. I also knew the justice she deserved would come in the name of the Lord. He had brought her to Shadow of His Wings Orphanage, and she felt rescued and safe in this refuge for children. Under my watchful eye, and in the hands of the Lord, peace filled my heart. Ana didn’t have to suffer or die out in the world all alone. She had a home and family to take care of her.

Thank you, Lord, for showing me what we can do for Ana and any others that may come to us from similar circumstances. I moved further in the area of trust in the Lord through a special child.

*Name has been changed.

Deserved Justice Continued Part 3

2 Replies

My thoughts went down many avenues as I watched this fourteen-year-old girl, who had suffered atrocities that left scars on her body and mind. Who bore the responsibility of the damage done? Would Ana* recover and be able to function normally? Is she locked up inside of her head and not able to communicate with us? Question after question came and went as I struggled within myself. I wanted to do more to help her find her identity and come into healing.

I took Ana to a neurologist in Guatemala City, and he explained that she had a normal brain, but not all of it was functioning. He said he had seen many cases like hers during his time as a doctor in Guatemala. I hung on to every word he said, trying to absorb any helpful information. I never expected to hear, “In cases like this, the survival instinct is for protection, and a part of the brain turns off. That is simple layman language for what happens.”

“What can be done to help her?” I asked, getting ready to write down the recommendations.

“At this point, there is nothing you can do,” he replied.

“Then you don’t have any suggestions as to how we can help Ana?” I probed.

“There is an institute for the mentally handicapped that is run by the government.”

His comment made me sick to my stomach. I walked away from the meeting feeling like a door had slammed in my face. What would we do with a fourteen-year-old who needed the care as if she were four? What about justice for this child who became a victim because of sinful and selfish people? Could her family, a mother or someone, be out there looking for her? What thoughts swirled in the mind of this girl? A part of me wanted to protect her and keep her in the Home. Another part of me knew how difficult it would be to allow her to stay, but a mental institution would not be the answer. Ana deserved more than life in such a place. I felt torn and frustrated.

As I drove us back to the Shadow of His Wings Orphanage, I prayed, “Lord, where do we go from here. Show us the way. I don’t know how we can help her, but I know she didn’t come to us by accident. Help us to know the plan.” Ana watched me and gave me a smile. Excitement showed in her face because she got to go someplace in the car with Mama Carroll—a big treat in her eyes. I smiled back. There had to be a way to work all of this out. I trusted the Lord to bring out the answer.

*Name has been changed.

Deserved Justice Continued

3 Replies

The girl whom we named Ana* clearly had mental and physical issues that needed immediate attention. With this situation being a new and huge dilemma for us, we followed what we thought to be the obvious route of wisdom. I took Ana to a missionary dentist, and after the exam, he said that her teeth indicated that she was about fourteen years old. We thought she would be a couple years younger than that. I realized that girls were smaller and looked younger than their age when they were nutritionally deprived in their early development—such was the case with Ana.

I watched Ana settle in with our family, and she showed the maturity of a toddler. She needed help with any type of activity, including taking a shower or brushing her teeth. The girls taught her to eat with a spoon or a fork, but she frequently used her fingers. This girl had deep needs, and I spent much time pondering what we could do with our limited staff and abilities. I knew the love and security she felt with us would influence her life, but I wanted to see healing. We needed to know what damaged her brain function.

“Ana, it is time to go upstairs and get ready for bed.” Ana looked at me and back at the floor but didn’t make any move to get off of the couch. “Come on, Ana. It is time to go upstairs.” All of the other girls had left for their bedrooms, but Ana didn’t budge. I took her arm and nudged her toward the stairs but felt solid resistance. I realized that “stubborn as a mule” needed to be added to the list of issues we would be facing. I lifted her face so I could look into her eyes, but she refused to connect with mine. “Ana, you are God’s beautiful creation. He loves you, and we love you. He brought you to our home so you would be safe and be part of this family. Part of being in a family requires obedience. I’m asking you to be obedient to me and go upstairs.” I paused and then prayed for the Lord to help Ana to understand what she needed to do and act on it. I didn’t know if she understood my words, but she rose off of the couch and, as slow as a turtle, moved up the stairs to her bedroom.

The court psychologist did not get anywhere with Ana during her first visit. We started out with me in the room and then decided it would be better for me to be out of sight. None of that made a difference, and Ana refused to give any type of response. She sat in her usual position, with her eyes looking downward and her bottom lip sticking out. I’m sure the psychologist tried every trick in the book to document some sort of action, but Ana portrayed a frozen statue. We were told that Ana didn’t need to come back for any more psychological appointments. The psychologist said that putting her in a mental institute would be the best option for her.

No, Lord, she can’t go to one of those horrible places.This isn’t justice! My heart sank. I had hoped that something would help unravel the mystery about Ana. I left the appointment with her, hand-in-hand, and with disappointment in my heart.

Next, we made an appointment for her to meet with a brain specialist in Guatemala City. Having a professional evaluate her brain function would surely shed some light on how we could help this young girl. I looked forward to this time with great anticipation.

*Name has been changed.