Author Archives: Carroll

Protection and Guidance: Part 2

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As I waited for Gerber to come fix my tire in a dangerous location outside of Guatemala City, I remembered a time when I came home and noticed a white powder-like substance on the tile floor. What kind of animal leaves something like that? I looked up, and there was a small hole all the way through the ceiling and roof. I checked the floor and found a bullet slug that had rolled under the couch. This happened twice, with the second one coming through the ceiling and hitting the metal kitchen sink. I did some research on the internet and read that “terminal velocity” is when a bullet is fired straight up and then falls to the earth again, accelerating until it reaches a point where its weight equals the resistance of the air. This gives the bullet enough energy to bore through materials like a roof. Yes, people have been hit, injured, or killed by this act. I don’t know if the neighbor liked to celebrate or practice shooting his gun, but I have two 9mm slugs in my jewelry box that didn’t get me.

The Lord gave me protection and guidance just as He promised. Two dear brothers-in-the-Lord, Gerber and Raul, determined that I needed to move, and a few months later, a house became available for me to rent. Listening to their wisdom, the Lord guided me to a place that offered more security, no steep stairs, and a living area that was all closed in with an automatic garage door. This house even had a full set of kitchen cabinets. Something I never had in my past homes.

My thoughts continued while I waited to be rescued. Lord, it is my fault that I’m in this situation. I tell our missionaries that they need to travel with a companion, and I didn’t follow my own advice—Ms. Independent. I knew about the safety of traveling in pairs. I looked out the side window, and there they were. Two police officers in their black pickup pulled up beside me. The stern faced passenger rolled his window down with his rifle ready to aim and fire. Oh, Lord, help me to know what to do. I saw an alertness that would be followed by action if I didn’t do something. I remembered that they could not see me through the tinted windows. Against my resolve not to communicate with the police, I rolled my window down halfway. The seriousness on their faces changed to relief when they saw this white grandma facing them. I sighed when the rifle lowered, and the driver said, “Señora, you need to move your car. This is a very dangerous place to be.”

“I understand that, Señor, but I have a flat tire. My friend is on his way to help me,” I explained.

“No, Señora, you do not understand how dangerous it is for you to be here alone,” insisted the driver. He opened his door, signaled to his partner with the rifle to watch the highway, and came over to the car. He looked at the tires and found the one with a hole in it. Feeling a peace settle over me, I climbed out of the car. The officer told me he would change the tire, but I needed to get back in the car. I obediently did that. Watching the younger police officer guard us made me feel safe. The testimonies from my earlier remembrances encouraged me as I recognized the protective hand of God. He used these two men to guard me and change the tire. My trust level went up greatly on the scale.

With the cute little donut tire replacing the flat tire, I could now meet Gerber in the next town. “Thank you for helping me, Señor. I believe that the Lord sent you, and I truly appreciate all that you have done.”

“You are welcome, Señora. It’s a privilege to help you.” With those words and a slight smile, he signaled to his partner, and they hopped into the truck. I drove onto the highway, rejoicing that something so dangerous ended well. My two angels wearing badges followed me all the way to Jutiapa, where I met up with Gerber.

As a child of God, I see God’s protection and guidance on a regular basis in my life and those around me. I’ve grown greatly in trusting my life in His hands. One will probably never reach the “Perfect Ten” in trust, but I desire to get as close as I can and not allow fear to dictate to me.

Protection and Guidance

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My heart rate shot up when I heard the dreaded pop of the tire. With a death grip on the steering wheel, I drove slowly around the mountain, looking for a space big enough to pull off the highway. Lord, I need your protection and guidance. What should I do? Several yards from the devastating hole in the highway, I saw a large area, pulled in, and grabbed my phone. While I waited for an answer, I looked around for landmarks to explain where I could be located. I had left Guatemala City two hours ago. I knew one thing for sure: This area had a reputation of being a dangerous section for robbery or worse. Being alone, white, and female made me a prime candidate for such activity.

My voice quivered, “Gerber, I need your help. I have a flat tire, and I’m sitting on the side of the highway in the Corona area.”

“I’m on my way!” said Gerber, heading to his car. “I can be there in about forty minutes.”

I took some deep breaths. Calm down and think. I got out of the car and viewed the damage. I quickly dismissed the idea of changing the tire myself. It was not a wise choice in light of the danger. Tell me, Lord, what I should do. I returned to the car, locked the doors, and put on the hazard lights. With dark windows, nobody could see inside the car, and I wanted people to know the car was occupied. With the uncertainty of there being ethical police officers in the area, I determined not to respond if any came by me. I had a full tank of gas, a good battery, and lots of daylight left, so I tuned into the music on my iPod and prayed.

Many times I had counseled with the girls about fear and trusting the Lord during fearful times. Now, I found myself in the time of a big exam. Thoughts from the past fluttered into my mind. I remembered the time when a young man got shot and killed as he walked a short distance from my house. I had heard fireworks and similar noises that night, but it didn’t register that they could have been gunshots. In the office the next morning, someone asked if I knew what had happened and if I saw anything. “No, I heard the loud firecracker noises that seemed to last for a long time. I shut my door to block out the commotion, thinking that someone had a big birthday celebration going on.”

That afternoon I went outside and found a rifle cartridge about three feet from the other side of my living room wall. My heart skipped a few beats when I realized the seriousness of the situation. The gossip about town said this was an act of retaliation. I slept with my bedroom door locked every night, but this particular night I had to check a few times to make sure. I felt fearful, thinking that I might be the next victim if the person who committed the crime thought I saw anything. Scriptures of the Lord’s protection began to flow into my mind. I repeated those aloud, ending with, “I am under the shadow of Your wing.” Peace moved over me, and I slept well that night and after.

After thinking about that experience, I looked at the time on my phone. How disappointing to see that only fifteen minutes had passed, but I felt a peace flow into me. The Lord would protect me now just as He did after the shooting. Fear no longer had its hold on me, and I refused to give into any thoughts in that direction. I laid my head back and slipped into another memory of the Lord’s protection and guidance.

Changes and Adaptations: Part 2

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I continued to pray for the ones who felt they had lost something when we moved and that the Lord would help them with the changes and adaptations to this rural community. Life in Monjas presented something completely different from their life in San Cristobal. My concerns increased when I had a visit with Tito,* the guy who didn’t want to leave the City. “Mama Carroll, I am here in Monjas, but next weekend I am going back to the City,” he firmly stated, referring to a weekend trip.

I cautiously responded, “When girls come to us, we have a rule that they can’t have any family visits for the first six weeks. Time is provided to make an adjustment without negative distractions or to have a pull back to their old life. They stay focused on settling in with the Shadow family.” I hoped my smile would soften my words.

“Oh no!” he declared, as he slapped his forehead with his hand. Uncertainty gripped me because I didn’t know how he had taken my comments. Did he hear my point and understand it had validity, even though I didn’t have the authority to tell him he couldn’t return for a visit? Then he gave me a hug, and we laughed.

It took me by surprise when the subject came up a couple of months later. Tito* announced to me, “I never thought I would ever be saying this to you, but I don’t want to go back to the City to live. I love Monjas! My children can play outside and safely ride bikes in the street without supervision.” I think my heart did a jig. Thank you, Lord, for working peace in the hearts of people and helping them find the path you have for them.

While the kids were playing, I noticed that Nely* kept giving me timid looks. I learned that usually meant something needed to be said, and the child didn’t know how to get my attention. “Hi Nely, how are you today?” Her smile warmed my heart because this child cried all the way to Monjas on moving day.

“I’m good, and I want to share something with you.” She ducked her head, shuffled her feet, but straightened up and looked me in the eyes. “I know I didn’t want to move to this place, but I confess that I like it here. I’m sorry for the way I acted. You were right, it is a better life here.”

Yahoo! “That’s great to hear Nely, can you tell me what helped to change your mind?”

IMG_3313“We do have more freedom to be out of the orphanage, and we can do more things here without being afraid that someone will hurt us. I love going to the swimming pool and watching my sisters ride bikes.”

Nelly saw the advantages of this place and admitted that she no longer wanted to return to Guatemala City. She had made a major adjustment in the transplant and enjoyed her new home, as did all the other girls and workers.

When I saw the positive responses in the lives around me, I felt that frosting had been added to my “cake.” God led us on the path He had for our lives, and what unfolded before us met more than our expectations. This wasn’t a “happily ever after” time without any difficulties. Life is full of changes and adaptation, but the Lord will guide us through those difficult times with His love and wisdom just as He did during this time.

*Name has been changed.

Changes and Adaptations

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I watched the girls settle into their new environment, as we faced many changes and adaptation in all of our lives. As an orphanage, the kids needed to be monitored, and freedom didn’t mean they could come and go as they pleased. Schedules, rules, and activities needed to be changed from what we had before. Joanne and I felt like we rode a daily merry-go-round to keep up with issues that needed to be taken care of “right now.”

The nearest supermarket was three hours away, so providing for this hungry family required a twenty-minute drive to the next town over. The small grocery store had many of the basics, even though it looked like a “mom and pop” store with five aisles. It sure beat shopping at the tiendas in Monjas, where one went to a counter and bought items Little House on the Prairie style. The street-market vendors met the need for fruit and vegetables.

With the starting of our private school, I needed to find places close by for purchasing underwear, shoes, and socks. These don’t exist in a tienda. Surprisingly, I found shoes for women available in several places in Monjas. Finding shoes wasn’t the problem, but each place carried only one or two of the same size in the same style. That meant going to every place possible, including the nearby towns, to get school and tennis shoes for everyone.

100_8066The girls wore uniforms to school, and we found a seamstress who made them for minimal the cost. The only pattern she used needed to be adjusted according to each girl’s measurement. I needed to bring all twenty-one to her for that accomplishment amazed at how she used her eyes and measurements for a completed uniform. Finding the material took longer, but we found a green plaid that would be the signature pattern for Christian Liberty School. I breathed a deep sigh of relief after all of the completed details. I knew the next school years had just been mapped out for the uniforms.

Yes, there were many areas of change and adaptation. Many times I felt like a wheel inventor. I longed for a manual that gave point-by-point how-to instructions. I’m sure the Lord heard me say at least ten times a day, “Please give me wisdom.” I faced the fact that my life would be like this for a long time, with continual decision-making, because we continued to grow as a Project. I cried out to the Lord that I didn’t have the ability to do what my position required. Then I would remember what the Bible says in 2 Corinthians 12:9: “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness” (NIV). I could trust the Lord to give me what I needed. Didn’t He call me to do this? His promises filled my mind and heart. I looked back over the testimonies of starting the orphanage, the miracle of purchasing the land, and now residing in a place I dearly loved. The changes made for a better life for these children, and God was helping us adapt by giving us all we needed in the process.