Author Archives: Carroll

The Royal Visit

2 Replies

Most of the children who come through Shadow of His Wings Orphanage feel like rejects—unwanted and unloved. To be told you are a piece of trash and treated as such degrades your self-image. An incredible event at Shadow showed the kids that there are people in high places of authority who care about them. I remain amazed that it happened.

“Are you serious? Royalty is coming to Shadow?” I asked.

“Yes, she wants to come and see the Project and meet the kids. Her desire is to help organizations like ours, so she will come to get to know us better,” replied the social worker.

Wow, the wife of the president of Guatemala wants to come here! My mind could hardly take it in. How many hundreds of orphanages exist in this country, and she plans to visit us? I knew the kids would be ecstatic when they heard the news. The idea made my heart flutter. For such a visit, there needed to be a royal welcome, and we needed plans to show how our orphanage operated. Questions flew in my head. How do we entertain such an important person? Could we be close to her during our visit? How did she pick us?

Our social worker explained how we got chosen. A friend of the Project, who worked in a government office, had contacts with people working with the First Lady. While her husband held the office of president, Wendy Berger desired to help the poor and to work with organizations committed to serving the people of Guatemala. The friend heard that the president’s wife would be visiting orphanages and suggested Shadow of His Wings Orphanage. Those in charge of these visits added our name to the list, and Wendy Berger selected our orphanage. During her visits to the orphanages, she wanted to ascertain the pertinent needs and decide how best to assist these non-profit associations.

Preparations began in a hurry. When we told the kids the news, they blankly stared for a few seconds, and then everyone talked at once. “The president is coming?” “No, his wife is coming, and her name is Wendy Berger.” “Will we get to talk to her?” “I think so.” “No, they’ll have guards around her.” From that moment on, every home buzzed with anticipation.

The excitement in us adults climbed as high as in the children. We wanted to put out the welcome mat to honor the First Lady for what she represented and for her acts of goodwill. To me, I saw it as an opportunity for our kids to learn how important they were in the eyes of many. Their lives meant something to people of importance, and these people wanted to invest in them because they had value.

With plans in hand and dust flying everywhere, every breathing body went into action for this royal visit.

Customs and Traditions

1 Reply

Every culture contains its customs and traditions, which we faced more of after the wedding for Miriam and Guilfer. The glowing couple entered the reception held in the community salon. I watched them with my heart bursting with love and joy, as they followed the red carpet looking and pointing at the elaborate decorations. Drawn to the huge wedding cake, Miriam grabbed her husband’s hand and hurried to check it out. Her big round eyes and smile showed me that it scored big with her.

Some not-so-pleasant customs occurred at this marriage celebration. The unity candle set disappeared after the wedding, and a friend played detective to hunt them down. He found them and the pillow that the couple had knelt on. They had been taken by a visitor. We soon learned that during any celebration, any decorations—on the tables or displayed on the walls—would be taken home by guests. The food had not even been served when the table decorations disappeared off of the table. However, the beautiful eight-tiered cake with royal blue frosting stood out even more than before. I focused on the cake and thanked the Lord that nobody could make off with it before the time of the couple’s cutting it.

The program for the reception followed according to plan. After the meal, some of the girls from Shadow of His Wings Orphanage did a dance presentation as a gift to the newly married couple. Guilfer kept busy kissing his bride whenever someone began banging their spoon on the table. Miriam, Guilfer, and some close friends shared their experiences that led the couple into this marriage. Soon the time came for the cake cutting, including the traditional “cake in your face” element. Lastly, the couple took their turn throwing the garter and the bouquet. Even with all of the activities, it went by too quickly.

After the reception, the bride and groom stood under a traditional decoration that hung from the ceiling. The netting above held a ton of rice, and while kissing under it, the ribbons that held the netting were pulled. As the rice fell, the couple looked like they were in a hail storm. Too soon, the time came for their departure for a short honeymoon at a water park resort nearby. Nobody,but us mothers, knew where they went and we had been sworn to secrecy.

Two days later when the couple returned, I learned another tradition about the gifts. Parents and closeIMG_2013 friends are invited to the new home, and the couple unwraps each present. We enjoyed this time of watching the glowing couple squeal, smile, or sigh after each gift.

Miriam and Guilfer enjoyed a celebration that may have seemed faraway or impossible based on life circumstances. The Lord, however, had a grand plan. Even with the mixture of customs and traditions, they enjoyed a dream come true. I couldn’t help but wonder how many of our other children would have the same opportunity. Lord, may all of their marriages be as special as this one, with your blessings all over it.

The First Wedding: Part 2

Leave a reply

The children we work with, who come from squalor and abusive situations, would see a “Cinderella” wedding as unattainable but we looked at it differently. When Miriam and Guilfer told us of their plans to marry, we wanted to bless them with a memorable wedding. We excitedly prepared for our first wedding of Shadow of His Wings Orphanage. Miriam and Guilfer represented the ideal couple by following the ethics we outlined for the children. They met, dated with the appropriate chaperones, and asked permission for the marriage. This couple became a model for the other girls, giving them hope for a future of love and respect, if they waited patiently for its unfolding. In my mind, Miriam and Guilfer deserved the best.

IMG_1224A legal marriage in Guatemala is obtained in a civil ceremony, when a couple is married by the local mayor. A church wedding is optional and takes place after the legal wedding, but it does not replace it as a legal ceremony. At the civil ceremony, Miriam, hair combed to perfection and dressed in a cute black and white suit, spoke her vows to Guilfer, while we “parents” stood as witnesses. The procedure felt more like a wedding rehearsal, except it didn’t follow our program. Even after the “I dos” it seemed surreal. Ten minutes later they were legally married, but we had plans for a real wedding. We whisked Miriam away to prepare her for the church wedding. Her chariot, my Toyota Corolla, took her to the grand entrance of the church, which was decorated and ready for “Cinderella.”

In the church, Miriam’s biological mother waited, having been given permission to come to the wedding. We prayed that her attendance would not reopen pain from past abuses. Instead, we watched Miriam’s mother hold her daughter in her arms and speak words of endearment. The wedding began when we three “mothers” (Miriam’s biological mother, Joanne, and I) sat down together in the front seats. Gib prepared to walk Miriam down the aisle when the music began to play. What poured out of the speakers turned out to be the wedding exit song instead of “Here Comes the Bride.” Too late to change anything, we sat chuckling to ourselves. Most of the guests didn’t know the difference, and the wedding march went smoothly.

The couple said their vows to the sound of our sniffles, while we mothers used a ton of tissues. After the vows, the pastor sat down but startled us as he jumped back up. “I am so sorry. I forgot to complete my part.” With a tight smile and after clearing his throat, he said, “I introduce to you, Mr. and Mrs. Guilfer Guzman. Guilfer, you may kiss the bride.” A roar of applause echoed off the concrete blocks of the church.

Now it’s complete, Lord. They are good and married. Bubbles floated everywhere as the couple left the church and climbed into the Toyota chariot. They drove around the town to the honking of horns announcing the great event. And finally, they headed to the salon for the reception. My emotions continued to overtake me as I watched one of my first girls send adoring signals to her new husband. I tucked another treasured memory into that special room of my heart.

The First Wedding

4 Replies

We faced another new adventure in Guatemala when a handsome young man came to Gib, Joanne, and I and asked for permission to marry our “daughter.” I had mixed emotions when I realized we would soon be seeing the first wedding at Shadow of His Wings Orphanage. My motherly thoughts kicked in, “Is he the right one for her?” “Will he take good care of her with love and respect?” “Will they live close to us?” Then my thoughts went in another direction, and I began wondering about the actual wedding. We had much to learn about the traditions of a Guatemalan wedding, and that is what I wanted to follow. We desired for this young woman to have the best we could give her.

After receiving her teaching certificate, Miriam became a teacher at Liberty Christian School and remained a part of Shadow of His Wings. This followed our plans to provide a home and family for the older girls after they graduated with a career and/or turned eighteen. After becoming engaged, she and her fiance Guilfer decided they wanted to stay in Monjas permanently. I said amen to that with a flutter in my heart. They took the next step of finding an affordable little house close to where we missionaries lived. Giggling like teenagers, Joanne and I discussed what we had in our possessions to help them set up housekeeping, and then we planned our wedding gifts to fill in the bigger items still needed, like a stove and living-room furniture.

A trip to the City provided us with a large selection of gorgeous wedding dresses to choose from. At one particular bridal shop, we were met with much assistance and a multitude of choices for wedding items. In a short time, the perfect dress adorned our bride-to-be, and I marveled at the transformation I saw in her. Her eyes shined with a brightness I’d never seen in her before. The gentle smile didn’t quite match the tears in her eyes as she moved from side-to-side observing every part of the gown on her body. She never dreamed this would happen to her. Her mixture of emotions matched mine. Our girl in all of her beauty would transform IMG_6844from Princess Miriam to Mrs. Miriam.

After finding the right dress, a day with the mamas continued. We laughed, shopped, ate, and laughed some more. We purchased all the paraphernalia a young bride needed for her wedding, making decisions based on tradition and spiritual significance. Totally new to both Joanne and I, we listened to ideas foreign to our own US customs.

We discussed the thirteen coins, called “arras,” and how these coins symbolize Jesus and the twelve apostles as part of the wedding ceremony. I liked the symbolism more commonly represented that the groom promised to provide for his wife and the bride trusted in his ability to do so.

Another common practice uses a cord or “lazo,” which looks like a rosary. During the wedding, a figure-eight shape is formed and then placed around the necks of the bride and the groom after they make their vows. The cord symbolizes lifetime unity of the bride and groom as husband and wife, and the loops represent their love for one another. Miriam wanted a unity candle we all voted that it would be included in the wedding.

This day and the ones to follow are memories embedded in my mind forever. Our adventure with the first wedding had just begun, and I had a lot more to learn about the customs of this country.