Author Archives: Carroll

Fight the Accusation

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Linda*, an acquaintance, worked at a well-known orphanage. While visiting with her, she stated that she would not fight the accusation fired at her. “I’m leaving, and I’m not going to put up with any more lies.” I gave her time to gather her thoughts, and then Linda told of a disgruntled girl in the orphanage who implied that Linda had physically abused her. The dark bags under Linda’s eyes, the tight lips, and the wrinkle lines around them showed the stress and hurt Linda experienced.

“Can’t you fight this and prove you are not guilty?” I asked, mentally noting the moves I would make in the same situation.

“I am done here, and I don’t have the energy to fight anymore. I gave fifteen years of my life helping these girls get an education and providing, a safe place. It’s hard enough to have one of the girls say this about me, but it is another to be told by the authorities that I have to prove my innocence. I am guilty in the eyes of the law and have to prove that I’m not. I’m seventy years old and too old for this. I’m leaving for the States.”  A few days later Linda flew to the US.

While waiting for my Spanish teacher at Spanish class one day, my thoughts returned to Linda. This dear woman spent many years fulfilling her role working with the founder of the orphanage. None of us who worked in organizations to help children had immunity from claims of abuse. I shared her story with my Spanish teacher, who addressed my thoughts. Looking deeply into my eyes, he asked me if I felt fearful that something like this could happen to me. “Of course not!” I stated emphatically. Perhaps I spoke too quickly. What would such a scenario look like? It could happen to me. The “what ifs” paraded through my mind as I drove home.

Sometimes in our orphanage, a girl rebels and falsely accuses one of the workers for doing or saying something to her. We, in authority, investigate what prompted her reaction and then deal with it accordingly. But what if she took it to court officials? I had to confess that the possibility did cause a disturbance in my rational thinking. To hear accusations from the very ones I wanted to protect would cut a deep wound, but this is a possibility in the life of those who work in orphanages.

Many passages in God’s Word bring encouragement, and I knew I couldn’t leave behind the calling God had placed on my life. I resolved not to walk in fear but in the trust that the Lord would go with me through whatever the enemy threw my way. There are Scripture verses that speak of His protection from the wickedness of the enemy. There are also promises indicating that God will use for a good whatever the enemy intended for evil (Genesis 50:20). We at Shadow of His Wings Orphanage determined we would fight the accusation instead of letting it destroy an association designed to help needy and hurting children.

*Name has been changed.

My First Guatemalan Christmas

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Scan 5My first Guatemalan Christmas loomed in front of me, as I pondered how the orphanage would celebrate this special time. I had many questions about the cultural traditions and thought of my favorites in the States. Should I introduce some US traditions, or should we follow the Guatemalan ways? Perhaps a blend of the two would make this time memorable for everyone. I started asking our workers about their ideas for Christmas and learned that Guatemalans observed this time without the pomp and circumstance seen in the US. Decisions needed to be made and soon.

In 2002, Christmas displays, decorations, and the traditional items were rarely found for sale. A few stores sold artificial trees and some decorations, but it was nothing like the choices available in the States. That didn’t deter me because creative people surrounded me, and we could make what we needed.

I bought a five-foot artificial tree and some ornaments, with plans in my head flowing. My excitement increased because nobody in the orphanage had ever displayed a Christmas tree. This would be their first, and they could hardly conceal their anticipation when I set the tree in the living room.

While learning more about Guatemalan Christmas traditions, I found that the focus revolved around a church service on Christmas Eve, a feast of tamales and chuchitos, and fireworks. What, no Christmas gifts? Gift giving didn’t dominate this holiday, and perhaps the money went toward the traditional fireworks used for the festivities.

On the twenty-third, after making the necessary purchases, the cook informed me that we should start preparing the tamales and chuchitos. “Mama Carroll, it takes a long time to make each ingredient.” Having knowledge about cooking made me wonder how something so simple-looking took two days.

“Okay, I’m willing to help any way I can,” I told the cook. I didn’t realize that some of the cooking had to be done the old-fashioned way—over a fire outside. An enormous pot of corn kernels and another of rice stood boiling above the wood fires on the patio. Inside the house simmered garlic, onion, tomatoes, sesame seeds, and pumpkin seeds forming a lovely red sauce that created a mouth-watering smell. I wanted to learn how to make tamales and chuchitos, but I had to learn in person because these ladies used the “pinch of this and a handful of that” method. At the end of the day, ninety tamales snuggly wrapped in banana leaves sat in a huge pot ready to cook over the fire Christmas Eve. A repeat of this day followed on the next to make the chuchitos. Instead of singing, “Chestnuts roasting on an open fire,” we would be singing “tamales and chuchitos.”

Ponche, which is a hot drink made from diced fruits, sugar, and spices, added to the delicious foods. After my first cup of this, I couldn’t get my fill, and it wasn’t even Christmas Eve. The cook indulged me by giving me a thumbs up when I went for refills.

A Guatemalan worker spread pine needles on all the floors and patio of the house. The piney scent launched me into the memories of the fresh mountain pine trees we decorated in Montana. I felt a tug in my heart as I thought of home in the states and my family. I would miss being with them. When I slowed down long enough to look at the tree, decorations, and lights, and then smell the aromas from the kitchen, I thanked the Lord for giving us the opportunity to celebrate His birthday in such a marvelous way. We had combined traditions, at the urging of my Guatemalan family, and I felt pleased to see the happiness in everyone’s eyes.

At 8:30 p.m. the feast began, and we gobbled down two days’ worth of hard work. Firecrackers sounded like continuous pistol shots all day long, but at midnight, the world exploded. Above Guatemala City, we could see fireworks from horizon to horizon. The sky lit up with colorful sparkles of light as the sound of bombs dropping echoed in the valley. Of course, we had to add our own combination of color and sound. The deafening noise and thick smoke didn’t distract from the love Guatemalans have for fireworks. A required firework in this celebration is a long rope of connected firecrackers that rapid fire from one end to the other for five to ten minutes, the longer the better. During this racket, people hug and greet one another.

When it quieted, and the smoke drifted off, we filed back into the house for the next phase of the celebration. Presents!

“Maria* why are you crying?” I inquired.

“Because I’ve never had a Christmas gift before,” she answered as she pulled off pieces of tape and carefully folded the paper for safe keeping. With moist eyes and a shy grin, she held up a journal for the year. I received a typical white top called a huipil with lovely purple embroidered flowers around the neckline. The girls had heard my hints. Everyone agreed that presents would be part of the orphanage’s tradition.

With another cup of ponche and some apple pie, we watched a drama on TV on the birth of Christ. At 3:00 a.m. my body dropped in bed. I thanked the Lord again for the family He’d given me and the love I felt as we carried out a mixture of traditions for my first Guatemalan Christmas. He put me in a unique family when I couldn’t be with my own. The loneliness I expected didn’t exist, because I lived with people who shared God’s love.

*Name has been changed.

Dear Faithful Blog Post Readers

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B4660366-920F-4D5C-8605-84ACE4103DEADecember is a super busy time for everyone, and I will be visiting family in the States so I have put www.livingundertheshadowofhiswings.com blog on hold until January. I thank all of you for your words of encouragement throughout the year about the stories I’ve shared from my journal. It has been a great journey for me as I saw how many details of things I’d forgotten. I relived them as I shared with you many deeply touching episodes in my life here at Shadow of His Wings Inc. I look forward to next month with more to come.

May you all feel the love and giving spirit that is so prevalent during this great time of celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ.

The Royal Visit: Part 2

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The day before the royal visit, the presidential security team came from Guatemala City with their dogs. This activity had the kids’ attention, and they watched every movement of the dogs and the officers. The security team went into every room of every building on the property. I didn’t know what they were looking for, and I didn’t ask any questions. The officer in charge gave us a rundown of their expectations of us. We needed to honor immediately any request for unlocking or opening any rooms or items. Nobody was allowed on the property except those of us listed on a document held by the security team. I worried about the Guatemalan custom of inviting family and friends to special occasions. Thankfully, Joanne addressed the situation and told our people that this would not be allowed for Wendy Berger’s visit. We declared to the head officer that we would follow everything to the letter.

The next day, we anxiously awaited for Wendy Berger’s arrival, and I think everyone’s stomach was tied in knots. Would I remember what I needed to say? Lord, help us do all of this right and enjoy a great experience.

“Here come the cars!” our guard shouted as he opened the gate.

All thirteen SUVs entered through our gate and drove to the canopy we had set up for our guests. Joanne, our social worker, and I received the smiling First Lady. She conveyed a message of humility with her softly spoken words of greeting. My heart raced, because I knew she would watch all of us closely, and I wanted her to be impressed by our children.

Presentation:WendyBergerWhile standing in the shade of the canopy, more introductions were made with the houseparents and staff. Then Joanne presented our vision for our organization and the plans we desired for the children. One of our girls gave a welcome and shared her testimony about her life at Shadow. Next, the girls demonstrated their gymnastic abilities by doing a presentation from a previous “state” competition. Lord, let these children see that they are so important that the wife of the president has come to see them. I prayed that the kids would know the value that others see in them.

After the program, we were granted permission to take pictures. We also had enough time for the First Lady to mingle among the girls. She and her two companions moved from one girl to another, showing a warm interest that made all of the girls stand taller. Many girls had the opportunity to share their testimonies, their plans for their education, and their honest thoughts about the orphanage. I proudly watched them visit, with their heads up and eyes bright, as they confided in her.

The one and a half hours with the First Lady went by too quickly, but the impressions she left with all of us will remain in our hearts forever. Everyone will remember the day the president’s wife visited Shadow of His Wings Orphanage.