I looked at the great team of people we had at the orphanage and the many hours they committed to working with the children. My mind reviewed the resources we had available to us as we encountered and dealt with each child’s individual issues. All of this felt good until it came time to return a girl to the court because we couldn’t reach her.

Gabriela* lived a difficult life before coming to the orphanage. Her grandparents participated in witchcraft and beat and abused her with knives, machetes, belt buckles, and whatever else lay close by. The stepfather sexually abused this twelve-year-old. Another piece of my heart ripped out when I heard that her mother committed suicide. In her desperation, Gabriela ran away from home to find her biological father. She did not have his full name and had only the zone number in Guatemala City where he might be living. The police picked her up off of the street and took her to the children’s court. Her bold actions told us a lot about this girl and the strength of her survival instincts. Lord, show us what we can do to bring love and peace into her heart and to guide her in the right direction.

This pretty, round-faced, dark-eyed imp started acting out immediately when she entered the orphanage. We didn’t see the usual “honeymoon” period. When the house-mother heard a ruckus in the bedroom and investigated, she found that Gabriela had gone berserk. She cut up her shoes and aggressively ripped her clothes right in front of the house-mother. Joanne dealt strongly with her, but a few days later, Gabriela took a sharp kitchen knife and chopped at the end of a wooden table. The “tia” (aunt) in charge of the children couldn’t get her to stop.

“Mama Carroll, I need your help quickly!”

I jumped up from my desk and saw Gabriela butchering the table with a paring knife. “Gabriela, please come here,” I asked in a calm but firm voice. Oh, Lord, help me to distract her from what she is doing and get the knife from her. She ignored my command, so I moved toward her and grabbed her arm. After removing the knife from her hand, I guided her to the office.

“What you did puts you and others in danger. You are never to put your hands on a knife. Do you understand?” My loud voice covered up the shaking I felt on the inside. “Answer me, Gabriela!”

Eyes can tell us a lot about what is going on in a person. The blank dark eyes that looked at me revealed a lost child who had huge walls around her heart. Her survival tactics consisted of anger and violence, which appeared to be a warning that nobody would break through those walls. Would we need to return this girl to the court because we lacked the ability to minister to the needs inside of her? The next few months would give me the answer.

*Name has been changed.