Caty’s Refuge Traditional Fun

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  TRADITIONAL FUN

Girls who turn 15 prepare for a traditionally celebrated quinceanos party (fifteenth birthday party). Caty now had a legal birth date from the judge and joined in the planning. 

     The teens talked and dreamed about this event all year. Privileges included choosing a formal gown, buying fancy shoes and accessories. No one knew how much Caty understood about this fiesta. However, her eagerness to be involved in the preparations indicated she knew to jump into action for whatever came her way. 

     Standing in front of the dressing room mirror, Caty took both of her hands, pressed them to the bodice, and moved them down the calf-length red chiffon dress.

     “Do you like the dress?” She looked from me to the clerk grinning. “Okay,” I said, “this one is for you.” 

      A tug of war developed as I tried to get the dress off. “Caty, you get to take the dress home. The lady will put it in a bag for you.” Only then did she release her grip. Minutes later, with her head up high and bag in hand, we went to the car.

     At our next stop, Caty tried on a pair of high heels. We got the shoes on her, but she refused to take a step. 

     “Caty, it’s okay. You can hold my arm.” Her body did not move. “Do the shoes hurt your feet?” She didn’t respond. We coaxed, but she stared at the floor without moving. 

     I imagined this happening during the ceremony and decided to look at some low heels. However, even with those, she would need to practice walking. I told the girls my thoughts, and they agreed to help her do this between now and the party.

     The big day began when fireworks erupted at 5:00 am, followed by the birthday song. Half asleep, the girls dragged themselves to the basketball court to receive hugs and birthday wishes. This traditional start ignited the excitement and sent everyone scurrying to do their part in preparing for the evening gala. 

Caty watched every movement with a glow in her eyes.

   The older girls volunteered to help the fifteen-year-olds prepare for their magical night. Miriam chose Caty and carefully curled and styled her hair. With every hair sprayed in place, some of the other girls applied the makeup. Caty basked in the attention and barely moved during the entire time. When finished, she looked like a model in a Glamour magazine. 

     “Caty, look in the mirror and see your lovely hair-do.” 

     Teeheeing, she shyly gazed into the hand mirror. Her red gown and soft curls around her face accented the princess look. However, I still had concerns with the shoes and her lack of agility when she walked. 

     According to tradition, the girls wore old shoes when introduced and escorted onto the floor. The housemother sat with the new shoes, ready to display the move from the former and put on the new. This action symbolizes the teen going into womanhood. 

     Caty plopped on the chair while her tongue worked its way around her bottom lip and waited for her new shoes. Tia Cyndi took Caty’s stiff leg, trying to bend her knee and capture the foot. Unaware of the assistance needed, Caty scanned the crowd with her chest puffed out. With low heels on, the princess moved with less than grace beside the housefather, her hand resting on his arm. I breathed a sigh of relief.

     The ceremony continued with a video of each girl as they shared testimonies with glimpses of their future plans. I hadn’t been involved in the recordings and wondered how Caty responded. The screen showed a typical Caty. She looked down and waved her hand in greeting without saying a word. Everyone applauded with understanding, and our girl giggled. 

     Each gal received a virtue ring from the house parents as a reminder to save themselves for a future husband in honor and obedience to the Lord. After the pastor’s challenging talk and prayers, a delicious feast awaited them. An elegantly decorated cake followed while the guests sang the Happy Birthday song in Spanish and English. Caty’s face said it all as it reflected excitement and joy. 

     In the Guatemalan tradition, the activities ended with the eruptions into the dark sky—more fireworks.

Caty’s Refuge Chapter 8

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Caty’s Refuge Chapter 8

A New Family

Joanne and I had our antennas up for an environment to help with Caty’s emotional and mental development. Six years after she joined the Shadow family, I emailed our Guatemalan missionaries asking for options The next day, we received a call from a missionary couple who listened to Caty’s history and determined they could minister to her. They even considered adopting her into their family of two small children. Both wanted to fully invest themselves in her to help her recovery from the tragic past. After much discussion, meetings, and referrals, we released her into their custody. Caty, now 18, no longer belonged under the regulations of the children’s court. The transfer would move quickly. 

     Caty’s first meeting with the family took my breath away. We agreed to join them in Guatemala City for the final test, Caty’s reaction to them. When the couple and baby entered the room, Caty focused on the child and softly kissed the top of her head, did her giggle act, and ducked her head. She leaned up against the mother and looked ready to go. 

     “Caty, would you like to live with this family?” I said.

     With her mouth partway open, she licked her lips and moved closer to the mother.

     “I think that is a yes,” I said. “Okay, Caty, you won’t go this time because we need to pack your clothes and personal items. They will come and get you when everything is ready.” Her lips turned down when we left, and she did her slow plod behind me.

     We decided to give Caty all new clothes to help ease that burden on the family. I took her to the storeroom and pulled out a suitcase. 

     “You need some new tennis shoes. Pick out a pair from these.”

     Caty grabbed some and threw them into the suitcase. 

     “No, chic mia, try them on first.”

     She looked over the tops and picked out the most colorful ones. Her tee-hees filled the room while she tried on her selection. To her, Christmas had come. We returned to the casita with a full bag, where her inquisitive sisters waited. Caty seized the moment and explained to them about everything in her luggage.

     “Mira zapatos mios.” On she went for each item. I had never seen her say so much at one time and regretted we didn’t have it on video. 

      “We need to give her a going away party, “ Joanne said.

     Plans went into action, and the reality that she would leave walloped me. I felt reluctant to release her, but the time had come for the experience of a fuller life, and Caty deserved a grand farewell. 

     The older girls and house mothers set up the party on the basketball court. Caty’s shiny eyes and titters reflected how special she felt. The hugs and goodbyes with the house parents and children followed with many tears. Still, Caty continued to smile and be giddy, ready for her new venture. 

     Close communication followed with updates on Caty’s adjustment. The honeymoon period fell flat within a few weeks, and Caty resisted anything they encouraged. She wanted to sit on a bench and not move for the whole day and didn’t respond to anybody. Even the baby could not bring her around. 

     Initially, Caty told them more stories of her gory past. Donna showed Caty some pictures, and Caty pointed to one and called her Daniela. She described how Daniela killed her baby, and blood covered everything. Another time, Caty said a girl named Tabitha had been burned with hot water. This was the first time she called people from her past by names. Then Caty escaped into her hiding place and shut out everything else. The task became more complicated than the couple imagined, and even though their hearts wanted to minister to her, they could not do it. 

     What triggered Caty into past memories? Did she experience pain in missing her Shadow family? We listened to the family’s desperation and resolved Caty needed to return to Shadow. 

     Weeks later, another plan developed for Caty to live with an older single teacher. Caty had a close relationship with Tia Myra, and it seemed an excellent opportunity for her to learn life skills—one-on-one. They would live in Monjas so Caty could be around the people she loved. The Project helped with the expenses, and the arrangement would be an extension of the orphanage to help with Caty’s particular needs. Within weeks, the woman confessed she could not continue. We crossed that one off the list and moved Caty back to the Home. 

Caty’s Refuge Chapter 7

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CHAPTER SEVEN

ADVENTURE AT MAMA CARROLL’S

A time came when I offered the house parents a break, and had Caty stay with me for a week. I took her into the  spare bedroom. 

    “This is your room, and the bathroom is across the hall. It has a shower, and I’ll show you how to turn on the water.” I didn’t hear any response but saw the glimmer of light shining in Caty’s eyes. 

   Caty went through the nesting process while I prepared lunch, and when I returned, I saw my Pooh Bear layered in three of her shirts. The rest of her possessions lay on the bed in neat piles. It impressed me to see accomplishments, but I would soon take a different view of the visit.

   The adventure began when Caty put her dirty clothes into the washing machine, and dumped in Ajax. A  day later a full bottle of shower gel stood empty after two showers. I don’t think being clean was her motive for the showers. 

   Her period began, and I found the paper strips from three Kotex pads lying on the counter. I guess she wanted to be prepared. I watched her with more caution but was secretly pleased to see the initiative she took in taking care of herself.

   Caty loved watching movies, so one night I chose “Rudy.” 

   She rarely commented about what she saw, but pointed to a young woman and declared, “That’s Amy, I know her, that’s Amy.”

   Amy worked as a volunteer nurse in the orphanage. I marveled at how Caty went through the mental process of identifying someone she knew with a movie character.

    “Yes, it does look like our Amy, doesn’t it?”  I said chewing on some popcorn.

   I wanted this time to be special for our gal, and remembered a necklace of plastic Christmas lights I had in some stored decorations. I dug it out and showed it to Caty. Encouraged by her smile, I hooked it around her neck and pushed the button to turn on the lights, and then moved her in front of the mirror so she could see the colored twinkles. Bedtime came, and I removed the necklace, promising she could wear it the next day and laid it on the nightstand. 

   The following day, while sipping my coffee, Caty marched in with the necklace around her neck and the lights aglow. This amazing girl had it all figured out.

   The time came for Caty to return to her casita, and I saw an attitude coming on when she refused to pack up her things. So, for an incentive, I told her I’d give her the necklace to keep when we got to the Home. Caty grabbed her bag and climbed into the car quick as lightning. That worked, and off we went. 

Tyrone Saves the Day, Chapter 6

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Caty’s Refuge

Tyrone Saves The Day

Chapter 6

Cyndi became a house mother, much to Caty’s delight in being with her every moment possible. One morning, I heard Caty sobbing, but guessed what had happened. Cyndi left for the States that morning. Everyone in the office tried to console her and explained Cyndi would come back in three weeks, but Caty shook her head and wailed, “No, no.” 

     With sudden inspiration, I grabbed Cyndi’s house keys in one hand and Caty in the other and headed for Cyndi’s house. 

    Tyrone, Cyndi’s black Lab, greeted us with his tail flipping back and forth and nose pressed against his cage. 

     I said, “See, Tyrone is here waiting for Cyndi to come back.” So I took her to the closet, “Her clothes are here because she went to visit with her family and will return to Monjas in a few weeks.”

     Caty knelt beside the kennel and murmured, “Tyrone, Tyrone,” as she patted his head. Then, light appeared in her eyes, as she realized her dear aunt would return. 

     On the walk back to the office, Caty said, “Tia Cyndi with mom.” 

     “Yes, Caty, she is visiting her mom and dad and will return.”

     “Tomorrow?” 

     “No it will be in three weeks, but she will return to us. Tomorrow we will check on Tyrone and make sure he is okay.” Caty’s body relaxed as she gave in to waiting for Cyndi. It seemed that if Tyrone waited, she could too.

     After completing the first casita, we prepared the girls to move onto the property. Joanne and I hired a Guatemalan couple from Monjas to be the house parents. This followed our plan for each home to have a Guatemalan mom and dad. The children needed to learn how to function as a family since they did not come from healthy environments. Until now, Tia Cyndi filled that spot, but changes came with the move.

     Caty struggled when things were outside the box, and I tried to prepare for adverse reactions. Unfortunately, Tyrone wouldn’t be able to solve all the problems.

     We planned a welcome party for the couple in the new home. Several girls expressed words of greeting and encouragement. After we had eaten some cake, Caty bellowed like a wounded cow stuck in the mud. She sat away from everyone else with tears flowing. Did she get bit by a scorpion? What could be the problem? 

     With Caty’s face against her chest, Cyndi spoke words of consolation. After that, she calmed down but still exhibited a protruding lip and wet puppy dog eyes.

     “Why did she get so upset when she loves parties and eating cake?” I said.

      We decided that Caty thought Cyndi would be leaving the orphanage because we had going-away parties for people departing the Project.  

     Later, Cyndi took Caty aside and said, “I will see you every day at Shadow, but I won’t be sleeping and eating here. However, we will have lots of time together,” Cyndi said.

     I learned another important lesson from this girl. She needed to have consistent routines or an explanation when they varied.